Oh! Mom, my friend is feeling sad… fostering EMPATHY since the early years
Social awareness has become an important skill in today’s life. Parents and schools have experienced how much impact that social and emotional development has in our children, despite their academic abilities.
Empathy is one of those social abilities we must nurture since the early years. It is the ability that will enable our children to act with kindness and compassion in life, and therefore, establish stronger relationships in their lives.
“Empathy is the ability to imagine how someone else is feeling in a particular situation and respond with care. This is a very complex skill to develop”
Research has shown that empathy has to be taught, and children learn it when they witness or experience it. Teachers and parents are the best to nurture our children’s empathy capacity closely and use every single opportunity to foster it. Adult’s modeling is critical on providing empathic tools through their daily social behaviors.
One of our biggest concerns in school settings is “bullying”. Teaching empathy is recommended as a way to stop and prevent it. Empathy is needed to express care, love and concern, as well as to share times of sadness and despair. Children who bully often do not understand the impact of their actions, or seem to be immune to the suffering of others. So, helping them develop an empathic capacity should lessen bullying behaviors.
Being able to empathize with another person means that a child:
- Understands that he is a separate individual, his own person;
- Understands that others can have different thoughts and feelings than he has;
- Recognizes the common feelings that most people experience—happiness, surprise, anger, disappointment, sadness, etc.;
- Is able to look at a particular situation (such as watching a peer saying good-bye to a parent at child care) and imagine how he—and therefore his friend—might feel in this moment; and
- Can imagine what response might be appropriate or comforting in that particular situation—such as offering his friend a favorite toy or teddy bear to comfort her. (Zero to Three, 2009)
What Can You Do? : Nurturing Empathy in Your Toddler (Zero to Three, 2009)
- Empathize with your child.
- Talk about others’ feelings.
- Suggest how children can show empathy.
- Read stories about feelings
- Be a role model.
- Use “I” messages.
- Validate your child’s difficult emotions.
- Use pretend play.
- Think through the use of “I’m sorry.” Not necessarily helps.
- Be patient.
Teaching empathy starts from home and should be nurture at school since the early years. It will not only prevent many social problems in school, home and other settings, but it will bring a strong social benefit to our children’s lives. Start at home since the early years, build an empathy community within your family members, encourage schools to do it so and remember: parents are the best role models.
Some articles we strongly recommend:
Stretching Student Empathy by Dr. Michel Borba
Stop Bullying: Teach Your Child Empathy and Limit Their Intake of Violence by Mary L. Pulido, Ph.D.
Tips on Helping Your Child Develop Empathy by Rebecca Parlakian & Claire Lerner, LCSW
Little Children and Already Acting Mean by Sumathi Reddy
